Sigh by night

So terribly tired!!  Been a long week, and I'm going out tonight.

But come tomorrow all I have to do is chores and laundry, and I can do them all at home - glorious, warm home!

(This apartment is still imperfect.  Particularly since the hot water heater still sucks and my best showers are warmish to put it kindly.  But it's much homier than work.)

And tonight, I will curl up in bed and sigh. 
Not cry.
Just sigh.
And look upon the starry night and dream of warm, cuddly clouds on which to sleep.
And admire the sparkling stars forming tiaras for the heavens.
And turn over and smile and drift away.

Replay

I wanna put this song on replay.

I need to listen to my heart all day.

I need to distract myself.

My heart hurts.

When I put this song on replay,
I forget a little bit.

It's about you.

But it's so beautiful I can forget you.

You're beautiful too.  Even though you've never told me that I am.

I'm gonna put this song on replay -
I'm gonna put this song on replay -
gonna distract me from me.

Sit down baby, this will only take a minute.

I'm going to put this song on replay.

And then...we'll get to that.

aren't you going to tell me?

"Why don't you want to kiss me?"

and we kissed

"that's not an answer"

and we kissed

"aren't you going to tell me?"

"No."

Sleep is platinum

If speech is silver,
if silence is golden,
then sleep is platinum.

Rare, beautiful, and better to have than anything else in one's jewelry box.

Ridiculous

It is highly ridiculous.  It's impossible, and what's more, it's improbable.

But I am happy.

So terribly tired

I'm so tired.  So terribly tired!  I try to dedicate myself to my work - and I've been doing quite well considering how out of the habit I got during that year "off" when I could stop whenever I wanted for a refreshing fairy tale - but it's draining me of energy.

I'm thankful for the work, it distracts me from the heartbreak, and I thank heaven you can block people from your facebook feed, and curse facebook for making me see my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend's facebook posts about him when she and I have never met and are not facebook friends or have even commented on or liked any of the same posts.

Most of my department seems to be paired off already, so I must dree my weird alone.  Maybe I'll find a math major with a penchant for history.  Or not.

I ache all over, probably from sleeping on a foam mattress topper.  I can't wait to be able to afford a bed.  A real bed!  It'll be such luxury I might even feel rested some mornings after I get it.  Even billionaires can't buy feeling rested and healthy after a good night's sleep, no matter what silken glories they may sleep in.

Nervous Nellie

I submitted my novel to an agent last night...so incredibly nervous!  On the one hand, this is the very first person I've submitted this novel to, so I shouldn't expect them to take it - it usually takes dozens of tries at the very least...on the other hand, this is the woman who took on The Lightning Thief, and she's actively looking for similar authors...so it'd be foolish to not hope, right?

I don't know, but at least I've taken this step.  They say on the website that if you haven't heard from them in 6 weeks your novel isn't right for them, but I'm not sure I want to wait six weeks to submit to someone else, now that I've gotten the ball rolling...but maybe it's only fair to give them six weeks? 

This business stuff is so confusing...