thanks be

Finished! For a whole week and a half...

never be afraid to just be

The work is slowly dwindling, the books read pile up and the books to be read slowly grow thinner.
As I enter the final days of the semester the dragging hours of studying pall powerfully; I long for freedom especially when I look forward to a summer of work, class, volunteering and the GRE intermingling.
Constantly reminding myself that working with the notable scholars that I volunteer for will only bring positives sometimes helps, but then I dream about white Floridian beaches and glowing blue Floridian skies dotted with seagulls and palm trees and the little devil on my shoulder mentions that a great tan is also a good asset.

I long to explore the chilly twilight, forgoing the books and the work and the stress of even my beloved novels, half-written and coyly calling for attention.
There is mending and packing to do as the end of my lease draws near and still I resist pulling my room to pieces. Why, I'm not sure, as this year will be remembered as "The Year of the Roommates from Hell."

Jazz is my savior, for as I finish my last paper of the night and my printer sighs with relief, I curl up with a cocktail and listen to Harry Connick Jr smooth my blues away even as he underscores my loneliness in his loving satisfaction.

Some others I've seen might never be mean, but I'd rather be myself with all my trials and tribulations, victories and satisfactions.

Gute Nacht!

exquisite

Loneliness sharpens the senses; your heightened awareness and pricking ears become so finely tuned they pick up signals that were never even sent. As the night revolves to day and the stars grow pale and weak you sit staring at the screen, working, always working, anything to avoid thinking.
There is brief respite in sleep, but upon awaking the restless shadows of dreams make you uneasy and as the morning routine commences the strange sensation keeps you looking over your shoulder.

Untoward? Perhaps, but there is a distinct satisfaction in completing tasks through the haze of insomnia and fear; the ability to function under duress is highly valuable. Even as your soft bed woos you, the final click of the keyboard sounds smugly even as you rise and stretch.

Let the day rush forth, bring what it will, for humans are built to adapt to change, however much we may dislike it.

Bonne nuit, mes amies.

just the way you look tonight

Tonight I played tennis for the first time in three years, and it felt wonderful.

I wish I had more time to write in this blog; rereading my daily triumphs and fancies is inspiring and a greater volume presupposes greater opportunity for inspiration.

Wrote this awhile ago, comments/criticism appreciated.

- Mnemosyne

and I sit among the raspy fumes
and hear a mockingbird sing
and a wave of perfume flows over me
and the sun climbs above the clouds
one last raindrop falls upon the stone
I look up and she hides her face
with clouds newly gray
and I realize her reassurance will not stay
there is no haunting fear today;
just telegraphed emotions, winking to and fro
I sit silent and watchful
muse in her frozen bone
my artist will come home
his love will warm my marble immortality
and until Time takes him away
life will pour through my cold veins
and my glazed eyes will sparkle like diamonds
yes, my artist will rise to glory
my outstretched hand on his heart
and when Time takes his love from me
I will die once more
and hope the Great Father will be so kind
as to one day assign me another great mind