bubbles

Bathing in my pool tonight I admired the green light of the water and the pale shadows cast by the almost-full moon across the garden.

Swimming laps I watched the bubbling foam flip away from my outstretched fingers during the sweep of each stroke. I wondered if the pool is something I should accept in my life as my goal, something I should strive toward achieving, or reject it as unseemly affluence.
I'm leaning towards enjoying what my parents have achieved and if I should achieve a pool, enjoy that too.

Spent hours today driving, unpacking, sorting and arranging. I'll be glad when Monday rolls around and I'll be all moved up to Gainesville and my room here will be empty of the excess it is crammed with during holidays. Moving is very tiresome.

Dreamland calls, and I finally get to sleep in tomorrow. Thank goodness for that!

lovegame

I dream constantly, asleep or awake my eyelids flicker as I fantasize about love and games. As a former model I habitually examine my clothes to make sure I'm setting myself off to advantage...and I have a bit of a taste for the exotic and crazy, particularly in the makeup department.
I'm obsessed with beauty and art, I love to combine the two and brush the combination over my rose-tinted ideals of love and sex.

Where is the glamour in the sex you ask? I know how to toss my head and pout and I can lure most men close to me. But I let them see my aggressiveness and vanity and they back away. Where did all the good artists go?

Sex is dirty - sweat and love and dirt commingle - sex is hot - sex is glamorous in the glittering candlelight - sex is love - sex is sex. Choose a box, any box. Are you a lover?

I'm going to be okay. I look in the mirror and tilt my head and let my hair tumble down. I must make the most of my beauty whilst I still have it, no guarantee of aging gracefully.

It's dark outside and light within, I twist and turn on 300 thread count cotton sheets. I grope for my phone to check the time and it's hours yet before I can tackle the day. No missed calls, but there never are.
I turn over, seeking a cool spot in bed, and smile as I recall the last party, the last show, the last bar and I smile again as I look forward to the next one. I'd love to meet you there.

Shall we play a lovegame?

holding back

In the darkness the aquamarine glimmer of the pool light reflects against the surrounding trees. I wander the garden, not afraid of the darkness, but trying to ignore it as I reflect on the past. Darkness and ignorance are what I strive against daily, on a personal level as I have little or no means to fight them on a larger scale.

I can't focus. Will write more later.