hollow

Work is breaking my back; I work 7 pm - 1 am Monday through Wednesday and 8 pm - 1 am Thursday, then a break til Tuesday when I once again work 7 - 1. A test this Monday, a paper today, a typology tomorrow and another paper due Thursday; another test next Monday and a lab due that Friday, and goodness knows what else. I MUST register for the GRE and take it again asap, I must contact all my possible mentors and see if they're accepting students and would like for me to apply to their programs. I must work on my applications, my end of term papers and term assignments, I must prepare for the field school interview and balance my checkbook to see if I can afford the fees.

Last weekend was the Florida-Georgia game, also known as the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, and I was so exhausted come Saturday night I was too tired to drink, and sat there, in my Hallowe'en costume, staring and my lovely screwdriver made with real orange juice, and had to will myself to sip it and shuddered each time I felt the alcohol hit my lips.

In all my three years at college I have not known two weeks like these, they generally last one, and are entirely tests, but this, with the endless round of papers, tests, applications and no time to do it in is completely foreign. The worst part is that they won't end til the end of the semester and I'm free to go home for Christmas.

Why couldn't someone have warned me not to finish up my required coursework til my last semester? Although, if I hadn't, I wouldn't even be able to try for the Ethiopia field school. They should have warned us about needing to find mentors rather than programs when applying to graduate school. If only I had known last semester, and could have done some in-depth research over the summer!

I have work soon and I dread it. I dread the power struggles between the managers, the disgusting students who leave my dining room in a shambles, and get upset when I've been handling a rush for two hours straight and inconvenienced them by letting the sauce packets run out.
I dread the people who stare at me with horrible looks when I tell them we've run out of something, stare at me in a way that makes me want to howl and hide under the nearest rock - it's not my fault the cooks are unprepared!
I dread the people who don't think I understand was "vegetarian" means, and repeat, "No meat!" over and over again.
I dread the people who ask me for water cups while I'm in the middle of something else, and get angry when I don't immediately satisfy their wants.
I hate the people who expect me to hand their credit cards to them immediately, and click the 'amount tendered' button on my screen without waiting to see if their card is declined or accepted.
I loathe being in the middle of trying to stock my station, or cleaning and prepping the dining room, or taking out the trash, and then have five students line up and I have to stop what I'm doing, run and wash my hands and then take their orders, all while being met with an offended air that I wasn't standing at my register, breathlessly waiting for their merest whim.
I hate the customers treat me like I'm second class, even though I'm a student here just the same as they are, only I work to pay for part of my way, instead of relying on Daddy's wallet for everything.
I dread work tonight.

I just need to live until Veterans Day...then I will get some sleep...then till Thanksgiving...then til Christmas, when I may breathe deeply once more.