happiness and cheer

Once upon a time, I read in a very true, very sweet book this old bromide - "How heavily roll the wheels of others' joys when your own heart is sorrowful."

And though my sorrows are weighing me down, many needlessly so, piled upon my back because of my own flaws and superstitious little fears, as I wove around the city tonight, I was still happily aware of the beauty and joy of the season.

Memories warmed me, precious ones like glowing jewels on a queen's necklace, and images flashed past me - zealously decorated houses shining with thousands of lights and cuddled under fluffy white blankets of snow, a fir tree standing in an old house built by honest hands, covered with glittering ornaments and propped up by dozens of carefully wrapped presents, curling up in bed with a collection of Christmas stories on the Eve, surrounded by cats, chocolate candies and a radio playing carols, my little sister standing at a window, ringing sleigh bells to see if Santa would ride by in search of a missing reindeer, these and many many others in no chronological order.

I saw all of this whilst driving around aimlessly and realized afresh that though the past will never change, that though loved ones are lost, and that there are no guarantees of anything, there is a saving grace about life and human nature that allows us to be flexible and grow and rebound from any sorrow.

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy Hanukkah, Bona Saturnalia, and to any holidays that I have missed - Seasons' Greetings.

I'll find you something to drive before you drive me insane

Drove my brand-new 2008 Toyota Corolla for two hours today, from university to home. Considering I'd only driven it once before it was a fairly scary experience. Although, the cd player enabling me to listen to Fick and Subhumans all the way was lovely.

I usually love the drive on my way home and hate it on my way back to university and more slavish classwork, but today I found myself concentrating on driving more than I have since my very first driving lessons.

I couldn't enjoy the wide sweeps of grassy plain, nor the horse farms scattered so plentifully over the landscape...
I couldn't savor the blueness of the sky as as the winds scuttled clouds here and there as they rushed from one end of the country to the other...
I barely noticed the hawks making leisurely turns over the rippling grasses, heads angled down, straining for a glimpse of a furry tail...
The smooth action of a brand new engine was wasted on me as I sweated, trying to watch the road and the speedometer simultaneously...

Hopefully I'll enjoy the drive back more, being more used to driving this strange being. I miss my Geo so much that it becomes unreasonable; at what point must we grow up and let the idols of our past slip away?
I have a beautiful brand-new car, and I yearn for the sweet familiarity of the car I learned to drive in, faded and shaky as it was.
I am growing acquainted with my Corolla, but I still have no idea if it is a he or she (my Geo was indubitably a he), and therefore cannot name it. I refuse to christen my car some androgynous name.
However, time will cure all ills, and the Corolla will one day have an identity and a name.

I'm off to dream of dark curls and a strong grasp; his kiss on my neck and voice in my ear...au revoir...

strawberries

I am craving strawberries like there is no tomorrow...I haven't had any in ages, and the mere idea of the sweet, juicy berries is enough to make my mouth water...

number the stars

Tonight, wherever you live, no matter how far you have to go or how many layers you have to wear, go outside at night and go look at the stars.

Look at them, really look at them, sprinkled liberally across the heavens, gleaming with health and beauty and all the mystery of the beyond. Organized in ever-changing patterns, they spell the secrets of the future and record the tracks of the past.

Beauty in her purest form.

Hallowe'en

Walking to class this morning wearing my cozy Gators hoodie, I was concentrating more on how tired I was than the world around me. But when I stopped and took my usual daily copies of the Alligator and the Gainesville Sun, I noticed several articles about Hallowe'en. Which started me thinking about how our holidays were born.

Think about it - Hallowe'en evolved from a holiday observed by the Catholics: All Hallow's Eve, on October 31st, followed by All Soul's Day on November 1st. These holidays evolved from the Roman festival Anthesteria, which honored the dead. It was originally celebrated in February and lasted three days, but Pope Boniface IV introduced All Souls' in the 7th century to replace it, and moved to May 13. It was changed to November 1st by Pope Gregory III.

Anthesteria was one of the biggest Roman festivals because men, women and children all participated together, which was fairly rare. Held in honor of Bacchus, a dying-and-reviving god, it went something like this:
Day 1: “Opening the Pithoi” (Pithoigia)
pruning of grapevines, opening of new wine
Day 2: “Libations” (Choes): communal drunkenness
hieros gamos (archon basileus)
Day 3: “The Pots” (Chytroi): dead walk the earth
offerings to Hermes (Psychopompos)
closing ritual cry:
“get out, spirits! the Anthesteria has ended!”

Eventually the 'communal drunkenness' was replaced with feasting, and as time passed the customs evolved that on All Souls' Day children would go from door to door begging All Souls' cakes from the housewives. Sound familiar?

Of course all sorts of other traditions and religions have gotten mixed in. I think there's a lot of Druid influence in our current celebrations.

And now it's an excuse for us to dress up as Playboy bunnies and One-Eyed-One-Horned-Flying-Purple-People-Eaters and the Doppler Effect and football players and devils, to get very drunk and eat heaps of high-calorie candy, and party like there's no tomorrow.

There's nothing like social evolution!

R.I.P. Michael "Sunshine" Guilford & Ashley Slonina

I suppose everyone has heard about the UF scout team football player who died in a motorcycle crash last weekend that also killed his passenger.

I didn't know either Michael or Ashley, but I send my condolences to their families, and our football team, both of whom suffered a heavy loss that night.

Michael, Ashley, we'll keep your memories alive and your dreams flying.

prosy sort of day

Some people have been known to describe certain days as "dull, prosy sort of days," but I think there is very little that's dull about a prosy sort of day.
Prosy days are comforting and regular, just like the favorite books of our childhoods, bound in familiar covers with dog-eared pages, smears of chocolate dotted here and there throughout.

Today has been comfortably prosy - the sky is clouded over. The wind is gentle and mildly chill, and I've spent the day inside. My television is broadcasting football games, wins and losses, victories and numbing defeats. (Take that, Chicago.)
My radio is silent, my pen still, my kitchen cool and empty. The living-room curtains are drawn and since Percy the rabbit is in Ft. Myers with his mother, 'his lamp' is off as well.
My other roommates are MIA as well, so I have withdrawn to my room with my curtains only slightly ajar and the lights on.
I love the weekends that I don't have to work. I can write and paint and play as I please, with a single deadline - to be in bed by midnight Sunday.

Five hours and counting!

autumn approaches

Summer is gone and Autumn is settling in slowly; bringing chilly mornings and evenings, the stars becoming brighter in sharper night skies, and small tints of color adorning even Florida's flora. Although, Floridian autumn isn't nearly as gorgeous and flamboyant as the northern autumn.
I remember driving around in the northeast in autumn as a child; New Jersey, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut. The hills were rich with golden fire as red leaves mixed with orange, burnished yellows standing out on the topmost branches, and the dark green of evergreens contrasting prettily.

It's give and take though - either you're up north with all the natural beauty you could desire while you're freezing to death, or you're here in Florida where it's warm enough, but not nearly as aesthetically pleasing.

One thing Florida does triumph over the other states in is the SKY! The skies here are as brilliant compared to the northern ones as English skies compared to American ones. There's something exciting about the depth of blue, something alluring and enticing that makes me want to spread my wings and fly as high as I can to get into that silky azure.

There was no real point to this post other than to free my mind of the numbing affect calculus exams always have on it.

Rambling, opinionated, with barely a grain of intelligence for flavor? Welcome to my blog.