I can feel it in the air

"The more things seem to change the more they stay the same." - Corinne Bailey Rae


Walking outside tonight the chill in the air was weakening; there is a fragrance lingering on the faint puffs of wind that grows stronger rather than dissipating. Memories start awakening from their winter sleeps, glimpses of friends and boys and shows and moonlight nights glistening with tears flash before my eyes once again.
My fingers are once again inspired to type, my soul stretches and grows.

Change is in the air, and my love of all loves - Summer - approaches me, elusive and ethereal.
Summer! I am not worthy of singing her praises. What are my lips to speak of her brilliant sunny days, the perfumed breezes she wraps around herself, the greenness she bestows on the trees and brush, and the feelings she awakens in man and beast?

Spring may be a lovely azure, filled with zest and renovation after the flinging down of the gauntlet of Winter, but she pales in comparison to the luxury and exuberance of her sister. Who but Summer populates the world in brightly colored flowers and fills the nights with warm moons and glitteringly starry skies?
What other season lays claim to lovers' hearts and that wild fragrant fancy we so aptly name "summer love"?
What other season breathes life into us like champagne bubbles overflowing a bottle with newly cut wires?
What other season do children long for, and all the inner children of the staid and sober adults secretly exult in?

O' pity that I cannot sing her praises truly, but blessed mercy that I may sing them at all, for I, a child of Summer, have some right to love her dearly.

She may not have Winter's sleek austerity, nor Autumn's decided advance and harvested treasures, nor Spring's joyous arrival but she has her own jubilation, a season of true munificence and glory.

'Tis true, 'tis pity, and pity 'tis, 'tis true - and yet I long for Summer.

blinded by moonlight

Went out with Scott Mattimore, amateur photographer and cinematographer, last night. We hit up The Side Bar, and saw Artemis Freezing, The Pendletons, and Velveteen Pink.

I loved Artemis Freezing, and the Pendletons were good, and so was Velveteen Pink, but AF totally stole the show. The bassist's string broke during the first song so they played Beatles til he got another bass. It was awesome and Scott loved it because he's a huge Beatles fan.

Scott thinks I should start modeling again. Who knows, maybe if I lose those last ten pounds (five I gained after the breakup and five I wanted to get rid of anyway), maybe I will.

I'm watching The Replacements. I heart this movie. It is ridiculously cute, and I wish more people liked it.

I have nothing to say and have said it, but I never like to remain silent too long, for fear that I will forget all that I've done.

Studying? Nope, sorry, never heard of it.

And so the first rush of testing commences: Chemistry on Thursday, Anthropology on Friday, Calculus on Monday, and Music whenever it damn well pleases.
I can't pretend to understand my music class, and it's probably just as well, the teacher seems to have an inbred hatred towards Western culture. Why, I don't know, but the fact remains that he prefers John Cage and Javanese gamelan concerts to rock 'n roll. 'Tis sad, 'tis true...

The weather has been far too cold. It leaves me uninspired and makes me miserable, especially in the mornings when I have to get up and shower and the heat isn't on yet. Naturally, I turn the heat on before I shower, but it takes longer than my hurried showers to warm the apartment.
I have no idea how the cross country team can bear to run in those tiny shorts and sports bras in the cold and wind. They must be made out of iron.

I must go to a review session now, but I want to leave you with one last thought: Valentine's Day can kiss my ass.

At last...

Today my mother told me that I have finally learnt how to write.

I wonder how it happened?

Wow.

'O Dorm on the Range....

...where the dear and the madly-in-love play...

Back at university once more, and sadly realizing that every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday speed-walking will be required to get from Calculus to Physics. Other than that, all should go smoothly - in matters regarding timeliness and attendance anyway. As for the content of the classes, well, only time will tell.

I am very confused as to why the bookstore is closed today. Classes begin tomorrow and tomorrow is the first day we can buy books? Not a particularly intelligent proceeding...

Christmas, New Years', and my twentieth birthday were all gay, jolly, and made ever-more irritating by my computer's hard drive dying and leaving me computerless and suffering internet withdrawal. Hence why there are no posts from winter break.

It might just be time to begin cooking dinner, so I bid you all adieu.

happiness and cheer

Once upon a time, I read in a very true, very sweet book this old bromide - "How heavily roll the wheels of others' joys when your own heart is sorrowful."

And though my sorrows are weighing me down, many needlessly so, piled upon my back because of my own flaws and superstitious little fears, as I wove around the city tonight, I was still happily aware of the beauty and joy of the season.

Memories warmed me, precious ones like glowing jewels on a queen's necklace, and images flashed past me - zealously decorated houses shining with thousands of lights and cuddled under fluffy white blankets of snow, a fir tree standing in an old house built by honest hands, covered with glittering ornaments and propped up by dozens of carefully wrapped presents, curling up in bed with a collection of Christmas stories on the Eve, surrounded by cats, chocolate candies and a radio playing carols, my little sister standing at a window, ringing sleigh bells to see if Santa would ride by in search of a missing reindeer, these and many many others in no chronological order.

I saw all of this whilst driving around aimlessly and realized afresh that though the past will never change, that though loved ones are lost, and that there are no guarantees of anything, there is a saving grace about life and human nature that allows us to be flexible and grow and rebound from any sorrow.

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy Hanukkah, Bona Saturnalia, and to any holidays that I have missed - Seasons' Greetings.